Books From Tian

Allison Janney and Addiction Awareness

Posted: May 31, 2019, 2:36 pm

Freedom Institute of New York City honored Emmy and Oscar wining actress Allison Janney, in recognition of her contributions in raising…


What Recovery Month Means to Me as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic

Posted: September 6, 2017, 8:09 am

Tolstoy began Anna Karenina with the much quoted, “all happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” I am not sure that applies to alcoholic families. When I first...


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Daily Affirmations

Leaving Perfectionism


Today I know that I need not like everything about someone to enjoy having them in my life. As a child I may have felt defective in some fundamental way. No matter what I did to improve myself and love those around me, the situation only got worse. This made my self-esteem drop and my drive toward perfectionism increase. I could not relax and let myself be who I was and others be who they were. I was worried that it would not be good enough. This has made me picky and judgmental, both with myself and with those close to me. I have trouble tolerating small infractions-I want things to be perfect. Today I recognize that perfection is an illusion, that learning to accept people as they are, myself as I am and life one day at a time brings the safety that I used to think control would bring.
I let go of my need for perfection.
Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well. William Shakespeare
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