Going within can be terrifying; to be willing to truly be still and with my self is not easy. Because it can be such a despairing feeling to go within and not find what I need, rather than tolerate the emptiness I race headlong into the acquisition of more of what I think will fill me. When I live suspended amidst the promise of fulfillment, I see the
solution to emptiness as adding and subtracting outside experiences. Each time I leave a job or a relationship, the parts of myself that I left unresolved are still within me. Until I resolve them, all I am doing is creating more complication in my life. This keeps me busy with the illusion that I am working on my problem, which only too often is
not the problem at all. The problem is generally within myself. Until I am willing to look for it there, all the switching and changing in the world won’t give me what I need.
I have the strength to be still.
You are so afraid of losing your moral sense that you are not willing to take it through anything more dangerous than a mud-puddle.