ACOAs: Click above to find out which negative and positive qualities you may have developed growing up with some form of addiction in the home. (2-3 Min)
The kind of emotional and psychological trauma that occurs within the context of relationships can become a template that we carry throughout our lives. Children in addicted or abusive homes, are constantly faced with situations that challenge their sense of normal and these situations are being created by the very people who nature intended to be caretakers and
But children in alcoholic homes (COAs) can and often do build unusual strengths as well:
COAs can become independent and resourceful adults. They learned that they’d better set their own alarm clocks, make their own lunch, get themselves, and often their siblings off to school and do their homework without waiting to be told to do it. Taking the garbage out, for the ACOA, is low on their list. Usually they are more worried about getting dinner on the table and getting their parents straightened out. ACOAs are not necessarily the ones who give up on life. Quite the contrary, they often become CEOs and entrepreneurs, they flood the helping professions and have held the highest political offices of the land for decades. They are cheerleaders, class presidents and tireless overfunctioners. People, marching to the double, to keep the show on the road and the family (and the world) from falling apart. And they are funny, really, really funny; having learned the hard way, how helpful humor can be for releasing tension and turning a crazy situation on it’s head to make it somehow….well….less crazy.
They are adults full of competence and talent who may be paradoxically in super drive and collapse all at the same time.
To learn more about which characteristics both positive you may have developed click on to the 3 min Self Test….
Dr.Dayton’s book The ACOA Trauma Syndrome will be coming out in September
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About the AuthorTian Dayton PhD
Senior fellow at The Meadows, psychologist, psychodramatist, author Emotional Sobreity,ACoA Trauma Syndrome, Forgiving and Moving On, Huff Post blogger, speaker... Read More