Today I am willing to allow my life to be good. Now that I have faced my
pain, denial, delusion and resentment I have cleared out the debris and
deadwood that kept me in an arm’s-length relationship with life. Today I
see clearly that I was a person filled with anger and hurt and that
those feelings kept me from being able to live a normal life. Now I find
I am afraid to let my life feel too good. I am, through my recovery, in
a position to have a reasonably happy life, but the thought of allowing
myself to count on that fills me with anxiety. I have felt so deeply let
down in my past that allowing myself to trust again feels like walking
through a brick wall or falling down a dark well. I will hold my own
hand today and move through my own darkness toward the light, knowing
that life holds no guarantees at any time.
I can live without guarantees.
I look to the hills from whence doth my help come. My help cometh from
the Lord.
Psalm 121:1-2