Tian Dayton

Soul is not some disembodied entity-it is part of me, part of my struggle. When I bring deep conflicts housed in my unconscious to a conscious level, I am making more of soul conscious as well. Every aspect of life or thought has soul present within it. Conflict that is locked in a frozen state in my deeper mind locks soul along with it. To free my mind also frees soul and life energy. Soul is a mighty phenomenon, as big as all creation. I need to expand my mind to be able
to contain it or be with it.

I study inner conflicts to expand my soul.

To experience conflicts knowingly, though it may be distressing, can be an invaluable asset. The more we face our own conflicts and seek out our own solutions, the more inner freedom and strength we will gain. Only when we are willing to bear the brunt can we approximate the ideal of being the captain of our ship. Spurious tranquillity rooted in inner
dullness is anything but enviable. It is bound to make us weak and an easy prey to any kind of influence.
Karen Horney, M.D.

Today I accept that life is full of transitions. As a child, change came  to mean trauma. I never knew what to expect in my dysfunctional home. Would all be calm and loving or would everyone be frantic, tense and at each other’s throats? Either was possible. Both were unpredictable and frightening-the good, because if I let myself feel the wonderful love,
peace and calm, I immediately feared the terrible pain of losing it. The bad, because we tore at one another with our arguing, rage and insults. At some deep level I put my trust in the bad; it hurt too much to trust the good and lose it over and over again. Today when I get scared over a transition, I see that it’s about old pain. I needn’t get stuck in it
again. I have tools today that I didn’t have then.

I can tolerate the anxiety that change brings up.

Genius is formed in guiet, character in the stream of life.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I will lose myself in a task today. Oftentimes I seek soul by sitting and ruminating in an effort to comprehend the mystery, but the self is too full of paradox to understand in any one way. Losing myself in meaningful activity is another way to journey toward soul. I thrive on a sense of accomplishment. I get a feeling of self-worth from applying my energies toward something worthwhile. Deepening and perfecting a skill lead me toward subtle levels of awareness and sharpen my powers of observation. Mixing and remixing my abilities, combining and recombining my approach to a task refine both my talent and level of awareness in any area of my inner or outer life. My life is made richer, fuller and more meaningful when I am able to devote my energies fully to worthwhile projects. Today I will see the value for me, in devoting myself to the task at hand.

I seek soul through devoted action.

In our world the road to holiness necessarily passes through the world of action.
Dag Hammarskjšld

Today I see that truth and love are constant and more powerful than illusion. It is my belief in the illusion that keeps me powerless. I am a child of God in the most real sense. This is a status that I share with my parents, my grandparents, my children- even plants and animals. There is a benevolent force that has given birth to us all, and we are one with it. God is a force that lives within me and in my heart I have always known that. It is for me today to recognize fully my nature as of God as well as other living creatures.

I am one with God.

In my father’s house there are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you. And you yourself know the way where I am going.
John 14:2

I will not hide my shame. All living persons, even animals, carry shame. It is a fundamental human feeling. When I carry shame in secret, it distorts my inner world. It makes me feel as if I have something bad inside of me that I need to keep hidden, something that, if it were known, would make people run away from or reject me. I build up resentment and fear; I even become paranoid imagining that people are saying and thinking things about me. Shame can make me lash out or act out; say and do things in an effort to get rid of the feeling. When I do this I only deepen my shame because only in owning and experiencing the feeling for what it is can I let it go.

I feel and share shame.

We all carry shame, sharing it lightens the load and pulls it out of the secret undercurrents where it might get passed along in silence into the light of day where it can be seen for what it is. The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy law abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrongdoer.
Dr. Albert Ellis